I recently went to see the eye doctor for the first time since I was about six. I had begun to notice that it was hard to see the board in class or read the names of streets from a short distance. While it was not a huge issue for me, I decided to adult up and go to the doctor. My vision would only get worse the longer I waited. At the eye doctor they proceeded with their normal exam, dilated my eyes, and I was on my way. My glasses will be arriving in a few days, and I am actually very excited to see correctly again. You may wonder what my new accessory has to do with my ILP, but if you think deeply finding my faith again works in the same way as getting new glasses.
As I work through the Bible, journal my thoughts, and develop a relationship with God, I am finding that it is exactly like seeing clearly again. In this week’s journal, I talked about how I do not allow God to lead my life. I have a hard time trusting in someone to control my life. I prayed that God would do with me as he will, and use my body on this earth as His servants. But prayers can go unanswered for a very long time and that is why it is so hard to give yourself over. Just like waiting for my glasses to come I may not be able to understand why I am no receiving what I ask for within the minute that I ask but a time will come when He answers me. This has been my main struggle throughout this experience. I also find it hard to read the Bible. It is very hard to find time to sit down and read, and when I do I have a hard time relating, or desiring more. To solve this I have been watching videos on youtube that reflect on that certain section of the Bible. This way I can visualize the information, and listen to it rather than simply reading it.
Some good things are coming from this experience and these aspects overpower the hard parts 10 to 1. I have been ending each night and starting every morning in prayer, reading some of my favorite parts of the Bible, and analyzing them, and I have begun to notice God’s presence in my everyday life. He is always walking with me even when it gets hard to feel Him. I have been journaling which helps me connect better with myself, and I can begin to see my vision clearing each day. I love this ILP and cannot wait for it to transform me in so many ways. I thank you all for all of your help and guidance as I seek for a stronger relationship with God and hope that my adventure has an impact on each of you as well.